Most of the time, it’s very hard to understand women. They’re the creatures made to see a mistake out of your hundred awesome good deeds. They made everything complicated and worst – we’re the one who’s to blame! Their mouths are weapons of destruction! It can bring us nowhere but sorrow and suffering. What the hell is their problem anyway? I wish to turn them into bikes!

Here are some of the reasons why bicycles are better than women:

• Bicycles don’t get pregnant.
• You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.
• Bicycles don’t have parents.
• Bicycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
• You can share your bicycles with your friends.
• Bicycles don’t care how many other bicycles you’ve ridden.
• When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.
• Bicycles don’t care how many other bicycles you have now.
• Bicycles don’t care if you look at other bicycles.
• Bicycles don’t care if you buy bicycle magazines.
• If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
• If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
• If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics with it.
• You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.
• You don’t have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.
• If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don’t have to apologize before you ride it again.
• You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it wont get sore.
• You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get frustrated.
• Your parents wont remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it.
• Bicycles don’t get headaches.
• Bicycles don’t insult you if you’re a bad rider.
• Your bicycle never wants a night out with other bicycles.
• Bicycles don’t care if you’re late.
• You don’t have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
• If your bicycle doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
• You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
• The only protection you need to wear when riding your bicycle is a decent helment.
• When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your bicycle.

I don’t hate women. I still love them. Without them, there’ll be nothing to ride on.

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